Thursday, October 7, 2010

What frightened Liesel?

"Originally, Max had intended to write his own story."(Zusak 277) Max wanted to write about everything that was going on with his life, but then it turned out to be different. Max drew a sketch of Hilter standing above everyone. "She could barely make out the sound of his breath, coasting in and out of, as she opened the book and glimpsed a few random pages…"(Zusak 278) Max wanted to give it to Liesel when she is old enough. What frightened Liesel the most was a picture of a guy and a little girl on top of mountains of dead bodies. I think it frightened Liesel, because she was very young at the time and there were dead bodies in the picture.
            My life was not crazy or dramatic when I was younger. It was pretty simple. I had to go school, get good grades, and take care of my little siblings. Even though I did learn one big thing about my family is that we have a gambling problem. My parents got really into it, where they went overboard. I am not saying we were rich, but we were in a good stage. They sold everything until there was nothing else to sell. We went to 3 cars and a house into one van and in apartments.  My siblings and I made a promise to ourselves that we would never be so addicted like our parents.

2 comments:

  1. 6/10:
    Nice start Nina and great job on your Works Cited. Thank you for sharing a story about your life as well.

    Comments for revision:
    Be sure to spell check and make sure to put the author's last name in the parenthesis with your page numbers.

    consistent verb tense: "He wanted to write about everything that was going on with his life, but then it turn out to be different."

    too vague, be sure to introduce your ideas: "It was Hilter standing on top of this stand and he was singing."

    Who is SHE? "She could barely make out the sound of his breath, coasting in and out of, as she opened the book and glimpsed a few random pages…(278)"

    verb tense: "It is pretty simple."

    verb choice: "They would sole everything until there was nothing else to stole."

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  2. 10/10: Whohoo! Great job revising, Nina:)

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